The Daniel Family Adoption Blog

The following is one of my adoption presentations that I have been privileged to share with the church.  -JD

In 1979 China enacted a population control measure commonly known as the One Child Policy (OCP). The OCP rewards couples that have only one child, and penalizes families that have more than one child. The policy seems like a simple solution to a problem that could lead to economic collapse, environmental ruin, and famine. However, for a society deeply rooted in Confucian beliefs, the effects have been disastrous, especially for those children born with a less than desirable characteristic: girls.

Confucian tradition dictates that a daughter must marry and join her husband’s family, and her children will take his family name and she must support his parents in their old age. Female infants are seen as a drain on resources, and even referred to as “maggots in the rice.”  The combination of this tradition and the OCP has resulted in unprecedented numbers of girls becoming the victims of sex-selective abandonment, abortion, and infanticide.

The western world became more cognizant of this trend in 1993 after an undercover news team gained access to the SWI in Guangdong. The effects of the OCP were revealed to the world in the face and the cries of a little girl named Mei Ming, which translated means “no name.” Mei Ming was sentenced to a horrible death of sheer neglect, strapped to a potty chair, with no human contact, in the room the orphanage workers called the “dying room.” She was sentenced to die alone without a name and without a family.

The documentary and the resultant world-wide public outcry led the Chinese government to overhaul its orphanages. The film also became the impetus for thousands of couples around the globe to adopt Chinese orphans.

For Robin and I, our decision to experience the miracle of adopting one of China’s daughters was influenced by many people that God placed in our lives.  A little infant girl was one of the first people to open our eyes to the blessing of adoption.

A couple of weeks after our younger son’s arrival in December of 2002, we received word that a single mother, with whom we were acquainted, needed to temporarily place her almost one-year-old daughter with a family. If her daughter was not placed that evening, she would be put into foster care by Child Protective Services. Moved by her story and her need, we volunteered our home. During the five weeks that little girl spent with us, God used her to answer the question that parents of biological children have: “Can we love an adopted child as much as we love our own?” What we came to realize is that it is the relationship that is important, not the biological ties and similarities. Just as our bodies are not our own, our children are not our own. They are entrusted to us for a short time by their heavenly Father. God’s word defines “mother” and “father” as teachers, instructors and disciplinarians. There is not any verse that stresses the necessity of a biological connection.

Although we were shown that we could love an adopted child, adoption remained one of those things that we thought we could put off until later.

The following February, I went to a men’s retreat where God introduced me to another person that helped me to see God’s will. The speaker at the retreat was Chuck Holton, the father of biological and adopted children. Chuck told us that adoption is a mission field that many more Christians should consider. He showed me James 1:27 which says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” It is intriguing that of all the examples of true religion James could have used, he spoke of meeting the needs of those who can’t meet their own.

Although we understood our calling, we lacked the faith to take those important first steps.

That all began to change on the 14th & 15th of July of 2004, when I heard the testimony of Patt Wadenpfuhl on the Focus on the Family radio broadcast. She recalled her family’s story of adopting a little girl from China. I went to work with tears in my eyes both of those days. She used her adoption story to teach that we are never beyond the reach of God’s love. Because of her story, we learned that new testament adoption is a beautiful picture of what happens to believers at the moment of salvation. She pointed to Ephesians 1:5,6 which tells us that “In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will, to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” Our adoption as believers is a result of the great love God has for us.

Adoption holds a special place in God’s heart. After all, he sent his son so that we could have the opportunity to be adopted into his family. Adoption is an act of mercy that originated as part of God’s plan to bring us home, into his family. Adoption is God’s idea!

We finally listened and obeyed. A week or so after we heeded God’s call to have another child through adoption, the information packets from different adoption agencies started arriving. All of the packets were full of information about adoption: facts, figures, and frequently asked questions. Our boys especially liked the videos that many of the agencies sent; they called them “sister movies.” The videos aided us in our discussion of adoption with the boys.

Our oldest son had been praying for a sister since his brother was about a year old, and I am ashamed of myself for repeatedly telling him how futile his prayers were. After we made the decision to adopt, Robin asked him if he still wanted a sister. He said yes he did, one with “long black hair.” Later, when we showed him pictures of little Asian girls on the internet, he told us that was exactly what his sister looks like. Determined to shake him, I explained that she wouldn’t come from Mama’s belly like his brother, to which he matter-of-factly replied, “I know.” He seemed to understand the concept of adoption better than we did.

Robin and I were most interested in the `figures’ listed in the packets because we were afraid that would be the biggest hurdle for us to cross. The agencies’ prices range from around $12,000 to nearly $30,000. What we thought was a financial hurdle became a faith hurdle. I felt a little like Abraham when I said, “If this is God’s will, He will provide the money.” But, like David, taking a census, I tried to do it my way. The focus was not on God and His provision, but on I, me, and my. Instead of trusting in God and getting the paperwork started, I started calculating how we could save up the money we needed. After about two months of doing it my way - and saving very little money - we decided to step out in faith and contractually commit ourselves. On September 10, 2004, we filled out our adoption application. Once approved, we knew that we would have to pay the initial agency fee, which we did not have. God provided.  It wasn’t a ram in the thicket; it was dogs in kennels. Two days after we filled out the application, a dog breeder, who we had never talked to before, called and offered to buy our dogs and kennels. The amount she offered us was the exact amount that we needed to fulfill the initial obligation to our agency. Every penny we needed to bring our little girl home was miraculously provided by God.

God continued to speak to us throughout our adoption journey. In October of 2004, an old friend called us. She had been contacted by a college friend who needed some help. This friend was associated with a foundation named Shaohannah’s Hope, which was founded by Christian recording artist and adoptive parent Stephen Curtis Chapman. The mission of Shaohannah’s Hope is to enable children living without the love and hope of an earthly family to be adopted into “covenant homes.” Johnna’s friend explained that SCC was to have a benefit concert in Tyler on November 13, and he wanted adoptive parents to work at a booth for Shaohanna’s Hope. Long story short, on the night of November 13, 2004, Robin and I worked at a booth raising money to help others overcome the financial barriers associated with adoption.

We cried that night as we listened to SCC sing these lyrics:

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

What we didn’t know as we cried, was that on that very night, on the other side of the world, our daughter was born.

Throughout our journey, we gained a lot of strength and knowledge from God’s Word. Psalm 127:3-5 states, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” The Bible tells us that children are a blessing, perhaps the greatest gift God gives us other than our salvation.

Too often today we don’t regard children this way. The majority of families want one or two children, like I did, perhaps feeling that it is too expensive or time consuming to have more. Yet each child is a unique creation. In Psalm 139:13-16 we see the Lord’s delight in designing each one of us. “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

The Lord has a plan and a purpose for each life. God knew our daughter before He spoke the world into existence, and He chose her to become part of our family. Isaiah 43:5 reads, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east & gather you from the west.”

On September 3 of this year, we received word from our adoption agency that the Chinese government had matched us with an infant from Gansu, China. Her name was Wu Hong Ping, which means quiet and peaceful.  We initially believed that this was another answered prayer, but we soon found out that she had just been misnamed.  How do you say talkative and spirited in Mandarin?  She was ten months old, and she was located in the rural town of WuWei. They told us that she was found dressed in a red coat, and wrapped in a red blanket.  Red, for the Chinese is a very special color that symbolizes blessing, and joy. We were told that she was abandoned at a food processing plant on the outskirts of town.

Hearing her story and seeing her picture, brought new meaning to scripture. In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus, describes a situation that paralleled our circumstances. He said, “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?” The most difficult part of our journey was leaving our two dear sons, in order to “go after” our daughter.

On October 31, we left our sons with their Grandparents, when we boarded a flight to Beijing, China. Later, on November 6, we flew to Lanzhou, Gansu, China, where we were finally united with our precious little girl.

While in China, God revealed many things to us. He revealed to us how blessed we are materially. More importantly, He revealed to us through some starving children that joy does not come from those material blessings. He also reminded us of our responsibilities: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” He revealed how blessed we are to live in a country with Christian foundations; a country that extends the same freedom of choice that God offers to us all. The people of China are very superstitious, but very few are religious, and fewer still are Christians. God revealed that our daughter would have little to no chance of knowing Him, if she had not suffered the loss of her birth parents. He revealed that out of tragedy, He can bring forth tremendous blessings.

Jesus concluded the parable of the lost sheep with a happy ending,  ”And when he finds [the lost sheep], he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.  Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’” Our adoption story has its happy ending, too.
Robin and I flew home with our daughter in our arms on November 17th.  When we arrived our sons and our family was there to rejoice with us.

My prayer is that the Holy Spirit has moved some families here tonight to consider adoption. There are millions of children around the world who will go to bed tonight not knowing the love of a family. They don’t know the joy of shoulders to ride on win they win, nor the comfort of shoulders to cry on when they
lose. They also have very little chance of coming to know the Creator of joy and the One who offers to comfort us.

My prayer is that the church stands prepared to help these families who are called to step further into the abundant life and the good works that God Himself has “prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph 2:10). According to a study by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption 48% of prospective adoptive parents turn first to their places of worship for information and support. God is raising up the Body here for such a time as this, to “equip God’s people to do His work and build up the church, the body of Christ” (Eph 4:12).

My prayer is also for the happy ending. My prayer is that the Spirit has stirred the hearts of some here tonight that long to be adopted.  If you do not have a relationship with Jesus, you are like that little orphan girl that I spoke of at the beginning of my lesson. Without Jesus in our lives we are sentenced to die “Mei
Ming” - nameless. The cost for our adoption into the family of God is priceless, and the journey is impossible for us to make alone. Fortunately, God provided. Jesus paid the price for all of us - He traded His life for ours, and the Father searches, calls us, and waits to take us home and give us the inheritance we are promised.

(I did not insert references, but portions of the above text were taken from “Adoption As a Ministry, Adoption As a Blessing” by Michelle Gardener, “The
Spirit of Adoption” by Bryan Lewus, from the Shaohannah’s Hope webpage, and the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman’s songs “Love Takes You In” and “All I
Really Want”)